My first email clarifying my position on the Strictly Platonic question.

Life is not perfect, agreed. And it is unlikely that a couple would be able to have the same interests or share all of their interests together. In fact, it is unhealthy for couples to not have interests/activities that are separate from each other. Couples do need breathing space from each other - but not at the expense of the relationship. It will become clearer what I mean, as you read what I write below.

I think it is best not to complicate our lives unnecessarily by accepting a "third" party into the equation. Be it a third party male, or female; whoever it is that commands attention, interest, or love away from the relationship between husband and wife, that is not a good arrangement, for the long run.

Remember that in Naresh's blog, he talked about sharing his soul, his innermost thoughts, and his love for another woman, who is not his wife. The dynamic of this connection (admitedly only between two minds and no physical relationship) is still on a whole different level than the dynamic of him with his best male friend, or between myself and my best girlfriend.

I thought his feelings came across rather strong for someone who is just expressing a love for a "friend". I have best girlfriends, but I would never go so far as to suggest I share my soul with them - and I cannot comprehend doing so with anyone I would categorize as a "platonic friend".

I love my father, brothers - that's platonic love, but again I will not say I share my soul with them, even if I do share my thoughts and feelings with them.

My personal belief is that it is not acceptable (for me) to share one's innermost thoughts and feelings with another non-relative male who is not my spouse or life partner because the dynamic would be on a different level.

Let us assume, I lack something in my current relationship - I would just have to find another outlet where I can express myself. But I have clear boundaries as to what forms of communication and sharing I can and will do, and with whom. My principles are already formed - so there is no chance I will accept having a third party male become my confidant (unless I choose to, and if I choose that I am implicitly saying my current relationship is no longer working, so that I am looking elsewhere). Do you understand what I mean here about having one's boundaries?

I think the divorce rate in this country (US) is as it is - 50% - precisely because people do not take the trouble to make the boundaries distinct. I am not so sure I would want to be in such a difficult situation myself, which is why I have formed my boundaries, so as to exclude males from becoming close friends. They are my colleagues, my study partners, my friends, but nothing else. It's a conscious choice.

Infidelity is not only about the body or the physical act, it is also of the mind.

Can there be infidelity without a physical act? You decide. I think you know what I would say to that.

But in the end, everyone is entitled to their opinions - so let us just agree to disagree :)

What works for you may not work for me, and vice versa.